Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Sharing Food: Is it O.K. or Disgusting?

Having two kids can be a hard work sometimes, and joyful most of the times. When it is the hard work's turn, I feel like Allah is always there to help. When it's joyful's turn, I thank Allah for His blessings.

Speaking of blessings, Dr Roza aka Dr In The House has once wrote about "Counting Our Blessings". A writing that I can read time and time again. You can also read it here.


Sometimes in my own thoughts, there are issues that come and go unnoticed. An example and confession; I sometimes drink from the same cup of my children. Sometimes I eat the remainder of their food or drink.

Whenever I do that, I feel like there are disapproving eyes looking at me and I remember a friend's mother said NEVER eat the remainder of your children's food, for fear that they will not listen to you (disobedient). And NEVER eat the remainder of your husband's food too (So that he will not marry another).

This time, I am not going to let this issue unresolved and go unnoticed. I did some research.

So, may be I'm not good at research. I didn't find anything that match my question.

Then I remember an Arab Imam said to me that our Prophet Muhammad (saw) was a very 'romantic' person (yes, the Imam said romantic) and said something about he shared his cup with Aishah. I found a lot of sites on this one.

Prophet Muhammad (saw) and Aisyah drank from one cup and he watched where she placed her lips so that he could place his lips on the same area. He ate from a bone after she ate and placed his mouth where she had eaten. She also said that he placed morsels of food into her mouth and she would do the same. (Muslim)

If our Prophet shared his cup with his wife in such a way, why is it wrong for us to share our cups or food with our children or husband? I can only conclude that the idea is only a "petua" by orang-orang melayu zaman purba kala of unknown origin and bases. Please correct me if I'm wrong. (Saya budak baru belajar)



10 comments:

Mama Pongkey said...

I don't care what people say. I share food. I wasn't brought up that way (sharing utensils and leftover food was taboo in my household), but I learned how to share food soon enough. I remember my parents' eyes trying hard not to pop out of their heads when we first got married and OK was moving food from his plate to mine :) Aduh betapa manisnya kenangan!

I think the Prophet's Sunnah has precedence over all our lil customs. I think little habits like these build love and affection. :)

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum,

KKL, i agree. unc de and i do tend to share food n drink (or steal each other's food, as unc de puts it :P), which i think did put my parents off at one point. it must have been a big taboo masa time2 parents kita, hence the pantang rules. (teringat kat joey in friends: JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD! hehehe..)

but i do draw the line at sharing chewing gum or half-sucked candies though.

and being the geeky medic that i am, i couldnt help but thinking of interesting audit topics on:
1) wives who have the remainder of their husband's food, and what percentage of their husbands married another, and
2) mothers who eat the remainder of their kid's food, and the proportion of kids who dont listen to their mother

u know, to make everything evidence-based

(yes, i do scare myself sometimes..)

dyanna said...

I couldn't agree more (eventho not married yet :P), it's all kepercayaan nenek moyang zaman berzaman that has no proven facts, just like, shifting your eating spot a couple of times and you'll marry more than once, sharpen your pencil at both ends brings bad luck to your mom.. Our culture taught us to teach our children by inflicting fear in their hearts (laki kawin lain, org mati, ular masuk rumah), and not by reasoning.

I suspect the reason they say that (on the sharing food bit) is to prevent the mom from ballooning up cos always eating left overs... hehe.. maybe te alternative to avoiding this from happening is to teach the children to finish up the food. no need to worry la, kita ikut sunnah Nabi SAW.

Anonymous said...

I also don't share food (like joey, nisak knows this very well!) but i don't share food in terms of tak cukup. kalau orang nak ambik stuff from my plate i'd say "hey, ambik lah dalam pinggan sendiri!" LOL. i dont feel geli to share food as in dalam dulang. a plate is a bit small though ...

Mama Sarah said...

Thank you all.

but alamak my friend Di, why you brought up that not eating in one spot thing. Now I'm sure my darling husband will tease me by eating at different spots.

I wonder though, how our tok nenek came with these ideas?? Probably, their tok nenek said to them -

"Jgn makan lebih adik kamu, SEOLAH-OLAH, adik tak dengar kata kamu nanti"

Pastu yang si kamu ni pergi sekolah the next day and told her friend,
"Nenek aku kata, jgn makan lebih adik nanti adik tak dengar kata."

She has dropped the word 'seolah-olah'.

I have witnessed a few times some misunderstandings, contohnya;

"Nanti dekat KL belikan buah tangan utk nenek anything below RM50" Si Abah pesan kpd si anak.

Si Anak pula bercerita dgn si Abang semasa melawatnya di KL, katanya "Abah pesan suruh beli something ABOVE RM50 utk nenek."

I teringat satu majalah dekat msia ni - pasal macam mana selipar jepun dapat nama etc.. best juga kalau i tau history of these petua. i really am interested. Walaupun i tak akan percaya!

dith said...

Nisak, did you find out about eating from the same dulang amongst friends? During my U days in usrah(s) we used to do that. It definitely helps promote humbleness, closeness and sharing..:)

Mama Sarah said...

Dear DITH and all,

I'm yet to find a good article on the Prophet saw eating in dulang with his friends.

I guess I understand and clear about eating together. Before, I was sceptical on eating the leftovers. Particularly, of your children.

Now, I'm quite clear as well that there is nothing wrong to do so, especially if the food will go to waste.

Speaking of makan dlm dulang, I remember my 1st xp attending an Islamic gathering in London - ada suara2 sumbang berbisik, "Ni mesti diaorang malas nak basuh pinggan"

Anonymous said...

sometimes we ourselves have to use our own reasonable judgments why the old folks set those 'pantang larang'...
In fact there a few larangan which is can be logically accepted on that time...Contohnya Ada larangan Don't cut your nail waktu malam, kononnya nanti pendek umur (Reasonable explanation, zaman dulu tak de lampu letrik, jadi gelap, orng pakai lilin..takut nanti melukakan jari...) tapi ikut pendapat pengamal perubatan islam, takut mudah disyihirkan orang...)...so terpulang untuk kita pikirkan...
Ada jugak yang tak masuk akal yang ditiru daripada zaman hindu dulu2(sebelum kedatangan islam ke tanah melayu)

Wallahualam

Mama Sarah said...

I've always wanted to know about kenapa org dulu2 tak bagi potong kuku waktu malam? Tak de signifikasi antara hidup dan mati seseorang dgn potong kuku waktu malam.

NAmpak sangat rekaan semata-mata atau kebetulan yang terjadi satu ketika dahulu?

Betullah kita kena buat own judgement. tp masa kecik2 dulu rasa bila org kata 'jangan main payung dalam rumah, nanti ular masuk'. rasa macam real, and betul2 tak nak main payung dlm rumah.

until now, bila tgk anak main payung - rs semacam. memang tahu, mengarut bab ular masuk rumah tu.

i have to becareful to what i say to my kids in the future. sebab tak nak menakutkan or worse, menjadi kepercayaan pulak.

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